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Quick! Jump! It's a Stoose!

from It Was Fucking Weird, Then I Woke Up. by Lxnnnie

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lyrics

Quick! Jump! It’s a Stoose! (09/02/1986)

I was at what looked like my house on Curtis Avenue in West Belmar.

I was about 9. I think.

I was at the side door.

Actually, I was in-between the side door and the doorjamb.

Hard to explain, but….

The hinges on the screen door were very very long,
and there was a big space between the screen door and the doorjamb
and I was walking in-between and around the screen door and the doorjamb.

In circles….

My mother grew tired of this and yelled, “In or out!”

So, I jumped off the porch and walked down the back of the driveway towards the backyard.

It was Fall.

A really picturesque Fall day.
The huge Swamp Maple in the back yard was full of orange and yellow leaves,
And they were all over the ground as well. Orange and yellow everywhere.

It was so bright and everything blended together in such a lovely way.

I started to walk out into the yard. Slowly. Taking it all in.

And as I got about a third of the way into the backyard,
I saw my cat Keke sitting towards the back in front of the little white shed.
She’s a calico and was almost completely camouflaged in the leaves.
But she has a bit more black in her and she eventually popped out to me.

She was sitting there looking at something…..
Her tail was moving back and forth in a curious way….
like she was suspicious or nervous about something.

I looked in the direction that she was looking and thats when I saw it.

It was on the left side of the yard halfway between me and Keke.
There was a decent distance between the 3 of us.

It was hard to see at first….

It looked like a stick with legs.

It had a long twig torso with stick tail and a stick neck that went up and split into 2 smaller sticks with eyes on the ends. It had 4 long twig legs coming out of the torso and it stood like a dog would stand. It was about 3 feet long and stood off the ground about a foot and a half. But it’s head went up about another half a foot. I’m trying to explain this as best as I can. Closest thing I would say it resembled was some sort of stick bug. But it was pretty big.

And as soon as I saw it I stopped dead in my tracks,
I got this overwhelming nervous feeling. The fight or flight adrenalin kicked in.

I knew I had to get the cat inside the house.

And all of a sudden I yelled “Quick! Jump! It’s a stoose!”

And me and the cat started hopping all over the yard,
Quick-like. Sped up like the way an old silent film looks, except in bright color.

We never did make it back to the house before I woke up.

And the stoose never moved. I don’t think it was harmful at all.

Looking back on it,
I think it was one of those weird interdimesional beings that cylindrically shoots through dimensions.

Yeah. It was one of those, but at rest.

I don’t know how I knew that it was called a stoose, and I don’t know why I thought we had to jump to get away from it, or why we had to get away form it at all.

But it just came to me.

Maybe they aren’t necessarily harmful on purpose….
But maybe they can accidentally kill you if they get scared and shoot away. Maybe it’s possible they could shoot right through you by accident, and jumping erratically gives you the best chance to be able to dodge it. Because it shoots so fast when it takes off and travels. Like a bullet. And since it flies through dimensions, it goes in whatever direction it needs too, and if you’re in the way….. well, you’re in the way.

I don’t know.

credits

from It Was Fucking Weird, Then I Woke Up., released March 20, 2020

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Lxnnnie Belmar, New Jersey

Lxnnnie is an artist, songwriter, and poet from the US. Known for being one of the OG bedroom recording artists of the 90's outsider music community, he has self-released many albums under assorted aliases in multiple genres of music. He's also had songs featured in major motion pictures and produced music for a number of TV commercials. ... more

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